i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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