i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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