he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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