The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
