i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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