the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
