Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize