My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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