so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize