the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
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