My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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