You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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