hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
