dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
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then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
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The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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