Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
