oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
