is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
