they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
