dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
