We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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