can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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