she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
