capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
