I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
