the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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