I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
