This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
