If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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