There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize