I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
