Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize