I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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