he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize