She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
