thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
