It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
