last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
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he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
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You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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