I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
