Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Randomize
