I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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