I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
