I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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