Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
