I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
