just tell him i said nine months
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
