I want to make a zoo with you.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
