i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
