hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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