There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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