Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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