you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
