Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
