i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
