do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
