party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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