I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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