a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
