the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
