just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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