I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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