If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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