Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
