Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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