I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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